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Why is it that we seem to so easily give praise to God in the good times? Why is it hard to trust Him when everything seems to be falling apart. This is going to be the first post detailing the amazing changes God has worked in my family, home and my life in the last year.
About a year ago, the Review and Herald Publishing Association, one of our denominations biggest publishing houses announced that they were going to be laying off about 40 people. Trent had worked there for over 19 years. We played many scenarios out in our heads, some involved Trent being laid off others didn't. We were trying to prep ourselves for what many in America face frequently. We had just enrolled our daughter, Boo, in our church's private school since we got some subsidy and life seemed to be going pretty good.
The next few months are a lesson in learning to trust in God and that He will do anything to save us. But that is getting ahead of myself. Back to the story at hand
We knew the day it was going to happen there was a buzz going around that lay offs were going to start. I remember praying like I hadn't in years that God would spare Trent, asking family to pray for us and what we may have to go through. I never really thought it would happen. I just held out this hope...but God had another plan...something much bigger and larger then our own little imaginings for our future.
I remember clear as day the phone ringing and hearing my husbands voice on the other end.
"They called me upstairs"
We knew immediately what was going to happen. I got off the phone with tears streaming down my face and called my mom. She reminded me not so gently, but lovingly that this wasn't about me and I needed to be strong for my husband. I knew she was right, wiped the tears from my eyes and when he called again told him we were on our way down to help him pack up his office (it was effective immediately). I collected some boxes, grabbed the kids and was out the door.
The rest of the day was kind of a blur...we packed up, picked Boo up a little early since I didn't really want to see people, and headed home. The next morning we woke up together very early and just talked. We both felt really strong moving forward not knowing the road ahead but knowing we were going to just move forward together.
Later that evening, Trent got a call from one of his friends, Mark, who lived in Texas and worked for the Union office. He said he had heard about Trent's lay off and wanted to tell him about a possible job opportunity. He had heard from a secretary who had heard from her brother who had heard from his wife who just happen to be Trent's sister. Apparently Southwestern Adventist University was looking for a person to help start up a graphic design emphasis in their communication department. He wanted to recommend Trent.
Trent has always wanted to teach and this seemed like a dream. He talked to someone a few weeks later, but we didn't really hear back from them for a long time. We were trying not to tell anyone either since we had no idea what was going to happen. During this time Trent took on designing the teen weekly magazine Insight.
In January we decided to go up to Philadelphia for 3 days since I had always wanted to go and you never know if we might move. On the last day while driving around Valley Forge, Trent got a call from the University asking if he would come down for an interview in February for a few days.
Working up to it we went through a ton more scenarios in our head. We knew it wasn't a full time job, so he could probably still do Insight. But we couldn't afford the move and they don't move adjuncts. We didn't want to get to hopeful since we were unsure if he would even be offered the job. He had been disappointed a few other times so we were opptimitically cautious.
The girls and I sent him on his way and this weekend was the start of feeling like my life was falling apart, but really it was just the beginning of understanding who God is and the lengths He will go/allow to let us have faith in Him.
The song selected for this post is a perfect reflection of where I was when I started this journey. I felt pretty ok about my relationship with God, I always wanted something deeper but didn't really know how to get what I wanted. I found out that what Josh Wilson writes is so true:
My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when when I fall apart
Part 2 Next Sunday :)
Love, Aly
