Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Been awhile...but I am back!

Sometimes life throws unexpected curveballs at us. After my last post I went to Florida for 5 days for Usborne training with my fabulous friends and fellow teammates. I came back and settled back into life ready to start blogging again and then it hit....that random curveball!

I got in a weird funk....a depressed and anxious state of mind. I prayed, ate better,  started exercising more and tried to figure out what was causing it. Obviously this last year has been very stressful with all the uprooting and changing but it hit me when I felt like I was finally on top of everything. Sure I had started homeschooling and that is kind of tough, but I thought I was the happiest I have ever been. Yet, I would see something random and start crying over the loss of my friends in MD/PA. Take my kids to an event and start tearing up over missing our old church family.

Still not completely sure what was/is going on. I have heard about your body having kind of a letdown affect when things do start to even out. Not sure if that was it. I am still struggling and battling it. But actually admitting that I am struggling with it to myself and my husband has helped me get a hold of it a little more.

I have started reading a great book, Resolution for Women, and the first three days have focuses on being thankful for what we are blessed with and the secret to contentment. This has been so helpful to me. When I start to feel the emotions rise, rather then get mad at my kids, for example, I am trying to stop and think. Will this matter in 5 years or even 5 minutes? How would Christ talk to them? It is helping me slow my quick and often unChristlike response to a more thoughtful approach. They still have consequences but from someone who is calmly informing them of what they are.

I don't know if any of you have ever struggled with these kinds of feelings, but just know that you aren't alone. We all struggle. Sometimes we all put up our brave facades...but that is all they are. Masks so people don't see into our real lives. Just know that admitting to yourself that you are is a huge step towards healing. Being able to admit it to someone close to you is yet another step in that direction.

Just so you know, if you ever need encouragement, you are welcome to write me: